


habits & hugs

by nyckolodeo_n



Category: Sanders Sides, Thomas Sanders, Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-20
Updated: 2017-07-19
Packaged: 2018-12-04 11:32:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11554314
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nyckolodeo_n/pseuds/nyckolodeo_n
Summary: "Sighing, Virgil turns up the music in his headphones and leans back so he’s laid somewhat comfortably on top of his bedspread. Thinking about Patton and his habits, or lack-there-of, has caused him to get caught up in feelings that he normally wouldn’t allow himself to think about. But he’s sleepy and distracted, and it’s only natural that his mind goes down that path. It only makes sense that his mind would conjure up ridiculous fantasies, one after the other, about the love he has for someone who could never possibly love him back."





	habits & hugs

**Author's Note:**

  * For [shakespearesocks](https://archiveofourown.org/users/shakespearesocks/gifts).



> i promised myself i wouldn't write fan-fiction about the sanders sides, and yet here i am  
> of course, ownership of the characters goes to Thomas himself, this is 100% fiction, y'know the usual disclaimer stuff.  
> enjoy !

All of them have little habits they keep; some are [supposed to be] secret, while others are common knowledge, things they know about each other like the back of their hands. When Virgil is nervous, and allowing himself to show it, he’ll pinch his index finger and thumb together on both hands, then tap them together in counts of three. No one knows exactly why he chose that number, but Logan assures them that it’s normal for people who are anxious to focus easier when they stick to a consistent pattern. When Roman is feeling more self-conscious than usual, he spends more time looking at himself in mirrors and muttering reassurances to himself under his breath. It is something Anx used to mock him for until the one time Roman cried on his should for three hours about how worried he was about letting the others down; the two of them don’t speak about it anymore, especially since until recently Roman still wasn’t Virgil’s biggest fan. Even Logan has one, where he likes to take notes on every situation he’s in; when they’re brainstorming ideas for videos; when he’s debating with Anxiety over whatever topic they’ve chosen that week; even when the four of them share quiet breakfasts on Sunday mornings because it’s the one day of the week when they’re all at their calmest. It’s a sight to see, Logan so focused on understanding the world, and Virgil often finds himself lost in watching the other trait’s movements.

And then there’s Patton.

Patton, who has always been the shoulder everyone’s cried on; Patton, who does his best to make sure everyone is feeling good about themselves and is happy before remembering that he needs to take care of himself, too. Patton, who puts on a brave and loving façade when they do videos, since more often than not, Roman and Logan don’t understand just how important his input is and tend to look down on him when his performance isn’t up to their standards. Patton, who has done an endless amount of nice and amazing things for Virgil and the others that it’s hard not to fall just a little bit in love with him. Yes, he can sometimes be too sunshiny and cheery for the anxious character’s liking, but he was also the only reason Anx ever felt wanted or welcome for quite some time. He drew Anxiety a picture, for heaven’s sake, and the darker persona is not ashamed to say that it’s hanging proudly in his room next to the clock that moves about 100-times faster than a real clock. Patton, who doesn’t have any habits, secret or otherwise, that Anxiety has ever been able to pick up on, and it drives him up the wall.

Not that he’s going to admit it out loud, of course. (Just like he’s not going to admit that he spends quite a lot of time staring at Patton for non-habit-observation reasons.)

Sighing, Virgil turns up the music in his headphones and leans back so he’s laid somewhat comfortably on top of his bedspread. Thinking about Patton and his habits, or lack-there-of, has caused him to get caught up in feelings that he normally wouldn’t allow himself to think about. But he’s sleepy and distracted, and it’s only natural that his mind goes down that path. It only makes sense that his mind would conjure up ridiculous fantasies, one after the other, about the love he has for someone who could never possibly love him back. Because, sure, Patton has always been accepting of him and he drew Virgil a picture and he’s usually the first one to pick up on Anxiety’s lack-of-sleep when Thomas is working on a big project, but that doesn’t mean the guy is going to _like him_ _back_. Anxiety snorts to himself as he lets his mind wander. It’s late, close to three a.m. and he should be sleeping to help Thomas get ready for another audition in a few days’ time, but his mind just won’t shut up. So instead he lays there, eyes closed, letting his body relax and rejuvenate itself to the best of his ability before his alarm goes off and he gets ready for the day.

And no, he doesn’t think about cute boys that don’t know how to wear cardigans correctly the rest of the night, thank you _very_ _much_.

-x-

The first sign Virgil gets about what Patton’s secret habit might be shows up on a Tuesday; the two of them are having lunch, a comfortable silence blanketing over them as Anx reads an Edgar Allen Poe collections novel and Patton clicks at his pen as they eat. There’s a notebook sitting on the table next to Patton’s plate, one small enough to fit into someone’s pocket that Virgil has never seen before, and it’s open to a blank page. Virgil furrows his eyebrows in confusion—it’s usually Logan that gets caught up in notetaking during social hours, not Patton—before deciding it’s probably nothing and going back to his sandwich and poetry. Roman and Logan are nowhere to be found, probably in a meeting with Thomas, but Virgil can’t say he doesn’t mind the one-on-one time with the sappier trait. It’s a comfortable environment and situation, one he never minds getting himself into, even with the ever-persistent clicking coming from the other’s pen. Virgil decides to let it go; if it’s helping Patton in some way, he’s not going to be the one to take it away from him.

Lost in his book, he doesn’t see the miniscule frown Patton throws his way, nor does he see what his friend writes down.

-x-

After the first time in the kitchen, Anxiety notices Patton’s pen and notebook more often and more easily. When Patton is surrounded by silence, he keeps the pen in his hand, clicking it right around the time Virgil assumes the lack of noise is properly starting to get to his head. When he’s surrounded by his friends, however, and there’s music or a movie or conversation between two traits, even when one of them isn’t Patton, the happy trait’s shoulders are looser and he keeps the pen tucked safely in his pocket. Yes, Patton may not like loud noises, something that has become very clear anytime he pops into Anxiety’s room unannounced and the darker trait has his music blasting, but it makes sense that he wouldn’t like next to no noise any better. It’s a sensory thing, Logan had said when Virgil brought it to his attention. There are some people in the world who prefer a happy medium in terms of background noise or sound, just like there are people in the world who don’t like sounds at all. Anxiety had never been happier for Logan’s nerd-like tendencies as he had in that moment.

Upon further inspection, Virgil noticed that Patton only ever seemed to have his notebook out when Anxiety was around and no one else. Virgil thought the habit odd at first—there couldn’t possibly be anything so interesting about _him_ that warranted such special treatment and attention—but after some time, the notebook became an afterthought to any interactions he and Patton had. The two of them spent so much time together recently that it was quick and easy to overlook the notebook’s presence after a short while. When they had movie nights with just the two of them, cuddled on the couch reading and drawing, or whenever Anxiety ventured to Patton’s room, the notebook was always out. Occasionally, Virgil would hear the scratch of a pen on paper, but anytime he looked down at his ~~maybe-a-little-more-than-a~~ friend, the notebook was on a blank page and the pen was tucked behind Patton’s ear while he hummed along to the music or was staring with kid-like wonder at the film that was playing. Spending so much time with Patton, being exposed to so much physical contact and happiness and _Patton_ , made his heart flutter with happiness, and he very slowly came out of his shell that the others had never really been able to crack open even a little bit of. The thought makes him sigh, forgetting they’re in Thomas’ dining room at a meeting until—

“Are you even listening to us, Anxiety?” Virgil looked towards Roman, whose face looked like it couldn’t decide between amusement or annoyance. A quick glance around the room showed the similar expression (to a lesser extent) on everyone else’s faces as well. Except Patton, whose head was resting on Virgil’s shoulders as he drew in his regular-sized notebook. “Well?”

“Nah, I’ve got no clue what you guys just said,” he admits softly, lowering his head to look at the table and Patton’s drawing. “Sorry, guys.” He brings his fingers together, tapping them in threes as he gathers the courage to look back up at everyone. When he does, everyone’s expressions have softened, and Thomas looks worried as he glances down at Anxiety’s hands. Virgil smiles at him in reassurance, tucking his hands under the table to try and hide away his tick. “Start from the beginning, I’m listening this time.” Roman looks ready to protest, like he wants to start one of his old _‘sorry doesn’t always cut it, Anx’_ rants, but Logan jumps in and starts explaining the topics Joan and Thomas had come up with for the next video. Anxiety listens, makes sure to stay attentive as he continues to tap his fingers, letting Logan’s soothing voice, Patton’s close proximity, and the sound of pencil on paper bring him down from his near episode.

As a group, they narrow the list down to two possible topics for Thomas to finalize with Joan. Virgil adjusts his position so Patton’s neck doesn’t get a crick in it, and Patton squeezes his hand in response. Somewhere between shooting down _another_ Q &A and considering a Harry Potter themed video, Patton had reached under the table with his free hand to grab on of Anxiety’s tapping ones. The movement had been smooth, almost unnoticeable by the others or even Virgil himself, but Anxiety knew better than to think that Roman’s knowing glances at the two of them were more than just a coincidence. He ignores the egotistical persona in favor of squeezing Patton’s hand back as he they draw the meeting to a close, and Logan and Roman sink out into their rooms. Patton nuzzles his head on Virgil’s neck, barely stifling a yawn as his pencil slips out of his hand and rolls across the table.

“Alright, big guy, time for you to get some rest,” Virgil whispers, slowly lifting Pat from his chair, causing the moral persona to wrap his arms around the darker persona’s waist. Virgil can feel the blush creeping up his neck, sneaking a glance at Thomas, who’s watching them curiously. Anxiety glares at him, the effect lost while he holds up a sleepy Patton, and Thomas just smiles at them, eyes sparkling with questions. Thankfully, he doesn’t ask any of them, just puts on a jacket, grabs his phone, and walks out the door. Virgil closes Patton’s notebook and grabs it off the table, picks up the pencil to tuck behind his ear, and focuses on making it to Patton’s room as he sinks them out of the real world and back into the mindscape. He carefully puts Patton down on his bed, tucking him in carefully so that he’s comfortable, and chuckling when his ~~definitely-more-than-a~~ friend whines at the loss of contact. “I’ve got to put your stuff away, Mo. Give me just a second.” Patton clearly still doesn’t like it, but he relents anyway, snuggling further into the covers.

Anxiety slowly picks his way across Morality’s room, careful not to step on any of the stuffed animals lying in his wake. He’s only been in Patton’s room a few times, usually too tired to take in the details, but when he takes the time to look now, it’s very fitting for his personality. There’s a bookshelf to one side, covered in a combination of pictures of the four of them—with the occasional one of Thomas—and books that are less informational and more fun and with deeper meanings than just learning about the more technical parts of the world. There’s a desk in the corner directly across from the bookshelf, covered in colored pencils, parchment paper, and Funko Pop Moana. Covering the walls is not only a light blue paint that matches Patton’s signature polo, but drawings of some of Patton’s, and therefor Thomas’, favorite things. Patton likes coming off untalented, but Virgil knows the truth from their very many cuddle sessions, and feels honored that he’s been allowed to witness this side of the other trait.

Virgil gently places the notebook on the desk—not noticing the small piece that’s fallen out of it—along with the pencil Patton was using, before making his way back to the bed. Patton latches onto him as soon as he’s under the covers, curling around Virgil so that his head is on the calmer trait’s chest and his arm is thrown over his waist. Virgil gently takes his free hands and weaves it through Patton’s hair, smiling softly at how quickly Patton relaxes into his embrace. Virgil lives for moments like this, where he can show the others that he’s not just some dark, “extra” persona that’s out to get all of them. Having Patton accept him so easily has been one of the greatest things to happen to him as of late, and he can only hope it develops more in his favor in the time that’s to come. Virgil decides, then and there, that he doesn’t care what Patton’s secret habit it; when the other trait is ready, he’ll open up about it, and Virgil doesn’t want to invade his privacy. It’s what you do when you love someone, and Virgil has never been surer of anything than that in his entire existence.

Slowly, as the effect of being in Patton’s room for a long amount of time, Virgil falls into a peaceful sleep. Right before he loses all train of thought, Patton’s voice echoes in the quiet room as he says _‘loving you is the best thing I’ll ever do’_ and then his world fades to black as a smile forms on his face.

**Author's Note:**

> come talk to/make requests [here](http://virgilsanxiety.tumblr.com) ! i promise i'm nice :)


End file.
